should I believe

I can't believe I am back in America...
I can't believe I am driving on the right side of the road in between the lines.
I can't believe I am sleeping in a comfortable bed and I have AC.
Most of all, I can't believe my dream to go to India is over...
I am no longer at Sharansthan on a daily basis loving on kids that don't have much of anyone to love on them
... I can't believe I am back in America.

God really did some work in my life and in my heart while I was away from here...
1) I have truly realized how much we all just need Him. So often, especially as a social worker in training, I have the mentality that all people need to talk about their problems to feel better. If someone is struggling with circumstance, they can vent to me and with a little guidance, they are back on the right track again. As valid as this may be, I have come to truly realize how little people find true healing without a greater understanding of Jesus Christ. I can counsel someone weekly for years and years but until they find Jesus, the ultimate counselor and keeper of our souls, my guidance is almost in vain. I have seen this to be true first hand in India-the sex workers are in a great deal of spiritual bondage and without Christ's grace and unconditional love, they are nothing. And I know that this is true of even a teenage girl who has lost her job, her boyfriend or her mother- ultimately, we all need Him. May I never forget the importance of the great commission and the power that lies within it.

2) Life is not about me. Let me say that again, life is not about me. I don't really think there is much else to say here. The Indian culture is all about servanthood and sacrifice; they do not keep anything for themselves, no matter how hard they may have worked for it. Here in America, we feel as if the world always owes us something, that all we need to do is look out for number 1-"me." May I never forget the simple truth that life is not about me.

3) I know everything that I need to learn. So often we are afraid that we don't know everything we need to know in life. However, I am grateful that life is a process, life is about the journey, not the destination. As God continues to peel apart my soul, I only learn more and more about how little I know and how much I know about what I need to learn. May I never stop asking questions or searching myself for what else I need to rid so I can become fully human, completely created in His image.

Although I miss India greatly, I know there are things that need to be done here as well. My passion for the lost has been revived and my passion for God has been lit on fire.

I've been home for 3 days and life has definitely not been a bed of roses... I've cried my tears and blasted Hillsong's "rescue." However, I didn't become a Christian 14 years ago so that life would be easy. Even though the world says I should be traumatized because of my most current circumstance, I don't follow the rules. I told a special someone the other day- "If we are not becoming stronger in life, we are becoming weaker." Maybe this is why God has thrown me back under water again not even a week after my missions trip. He knows that He has to keep me always working to become stronger, always needing Him to survive. I am so blessed to have Him by my side during this time-I trust that "God has seen my tears and today is the day of joy everlasting."

Pray with me as the need in Nagpur, India is still great. Project Rescue has recently purchased land for a new home for Sharansthan- they dream of having a home for girls, a seperate home for girls, a dinning hall, a women's shelter, and an outpatient hospital. They currently have 80 children housed in a small facility inside the Red Light District. The new land is about 45 minutes from the RLD and is in a gorgeous location. PR now begins the journey to raise the money needed to expand Sharansthan. Fortunately, the USD goes very far in India-48 Rupees/1 Dollar. Join us in the journey...

I want to thank all of my family and friends yet again for their financial and spritual support during the past 2 months. Without you, I would have never been able to put a small dent in India. Thank you! may God bless you for your heart for God to be famous in our world.

Should I believe this trip is over?